Hurray! Oh my god, it happened! Last night, during work with rosary I was reading “Sutha deham,prana deham” I suddenly realized that this could be last activation day. I rushed to calendar. Yes, yes,yesterday was 44th day! I’ve done it! God, 44 days left behind. Long live to SSS! Leading by only one target – activation, activation, activation, we’ve limited ourselves from food, sleep, speeches and otherstuff)) Only that ones who also took  5 initiation courses at once and were fighting with sleep at 3 a.m.and 5 a.m. during the bastrika.
The only one who was glad for my activities was my son. Each time when I forced him to stop playing computer, he asked if I had finished all exercises, and I disappear for another hour.
Right now I can’t feel anger, or even feel any other negative emotions for long period. Sometimes I think that I consist only from oscillations of Om Ananda Sidhi. Everything I’ve studied, heard, saw suddenly strongly settled down in myself. I’ve considered all my path done for retreat. Sometimes I feel like Swami Ramalinga by himself returned me respect for myself, for my ancestors, for my native land,for Turkestan land… Clear big gray eyes looked inside of my soul, and I choked by tea, given me in room of organizers before retreat. I didn’t notice how I started using “Father”, for somebody who cause in you feeling of respect, and even the touch to his hands makes you very happy.
Kundalini-Shaktipat, Master Raj, I apologize you for mark on my forehead))) Because between young ladies in age of 70 year, who doing yoga and different breathing exercises for 15 years and who can accept any positions during work-out, while I even couldn’t do pranayama for 5 minutes and other different asanas, prans annoyed me, I was first who have gone through initiation. It’s similar to being called the “favorite wife”))) Not like before, where was only “sahasrara closed, sahasrara closed”…
On retreat everybody are on advanced level; They can see energies, fields, could manipulate karmic connections… Once Pranaji walked me by careful finger touch while I was repeating mantras. And suddenly, I’ve noticed yellow-green ayam  energy of  inner strength. Or you start to play with them like with magnets: stretch it, pull it between hands. I have fun, mr Utai! Using instructions of beloved  Masha, yesterday I took big knife and knock by my hand – only redness left on it. I went further,and get cut on my big finger((( It seems that your signal wasn’t enough, mr Utai on my home exercises…
Dear Lady Inner Beauty, I was tired for the beginning of course, and started my work without enthusiasm. But everything wonderful and unexpected started there. Arut Perum Joti, signs of blessed Mahalakshmi… You are right, divine energies take care of me. I don’t do anything. Only think. At once different offers from different sights appear. However, I’m still limited in my thoughts. While my life develops fully, following God’s will, involving me and makimg me happier.
Thank you God, for happiness to carry Your Light in hands…

Janar Temenova